I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hello my rib-scented angel!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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