I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
