i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
