She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
