Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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