I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
