Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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