i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
