Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
