I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
