im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I met the friendliest cop last night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
