Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I want her autograph on my taint
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
