shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
