Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
