I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
