good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
