Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
