what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
