Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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