If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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