I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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