Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
