Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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