hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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