the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
