your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
