Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
