I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
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