Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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