I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
