is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My ass is underappreciated
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
COCAINE IS GR8
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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