Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
