I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
