Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
