So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
