yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
