I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
