you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like death gave me a hand job
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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