I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
