I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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