I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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