he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
