New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this hospital has no fireball
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
