My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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