lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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