I didn't shave. On purpose
i just google imaged poop.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
