8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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