I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
