and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
