i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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