Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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