I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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