dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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